Dirt Reviews

     Geometry Wars Retro Evolved is a port of the smash hit indie game that originated on the Xbox 360.  The game play, reminiscent of Asteroids, is extremely addictive and great fun, albeit sometimes frustrating.  The game is cheap, and it does everything that the console game does.  That is except for one thing.  The controls are f***ed.

     I saw Geometry Wars in the plethora of magazines I read in an attempt to keep up with the latest gaming buzz.  I read awhile back about Geometry Wars, and thought the game looked awesome.  The editors would rave on and on about the simple addictive property the game had, and how great indie games are with their focus being more around game play than story and micro-transactions.  But it seems to me that the indie dev Bizarre Creation, who created Geometry Wars, has been tainted by success and was hungry for some more cash.  So they decided to port over the game to PC, an arena much unlike the console battle grounds that it was raised on. 

     On a PC, you generally lack dual analog sticks, the ideal control method for this game.  Instead, you have a mouse and keyboard.  So the developers decided to simply assign the A, S, W, and D keys to movement, and the mouse to aiming the cannon that is mounted upon your spaceship.  To fire your cannon, you simply don’t press anything.  This can be confusing to an FPS junkie and definitely confused me.  In the game, you pilot your space ship around dodging and shooting the many different enemy figures all of which are composed of simple geometric figures.  So understandably, you will be shooting a lot due to the basic swarm mechanic the game has.  So the dev thought "why not make it so the gamer doesn’t have to press a button to shoot?" So they make it so that pressing the left click STOPS you from shooting.  This may not seem like a big deal, but when you are in the heat of the moment, all common sense is gone to the wind.  You get excited and will undoubtedly left click, halting your fire, and then all the enemies will exponentially build up with the lack of constant stream of death. 

     Though, the more I played the game, I eventually got used to the controls and was able to last a bit, or at least long enough to get a couple of the bullet power-ups, encounter a black hole, and meet some new enemies.  The game then became rapture.  I could simply move my ship around for a while, and just bathe in the glow of my monitor as sparks lit up my screen like the Pyro in a fireworks store.  The beautiful ripple animations as well as the superb spark physics are a sight to behold.  I figure the only way to do this game justice is to make a video of me getting clobbered by my math teacher's little friends.

     So now, down to the core of the game:  game play.  The controls are a hindrance, but not insurmountable, and I caught on to how to be proficient in this game.  It just takes some time.  At first, you will be overrun by the bad guys. That is okay.  You WILL die the first couple times, but after this first hurtle, you will be able to sit back and enjoy the graphics.  The game, like your first girlfriend, will generally try to shy away from getting serious.  So you have to shove harder (sorry girls, this is just to make it easier for the guys to understand), and break down the first wall.  The game will then have you hooked with its enslaving simplicity. 

     It may be a nice and pretty game that you can really get into, but you will have to not let the graphics fool you into thinking the game is more than it is.  It is at it's best a time waster, and should not take priority over better games.  I am glad that I got a chance to experience the game that I had heard so much of, and I must say it did not disappoint.  It was entrancing and entertaining, which is all that really matters.  For four dollars though, you must buy this.  It is worth every last penny you bought it for, but that isn’t saying a lot.

Rating       

 CONS

• The controls are like trying to type with hooves, HARD
• An initial response to the game can scare people away, but if you power through, there is a great game waiting inside